A friend shares a song with me;
My brain doesn't register its sound.
It's something new and fresh;
As I listen further- I want to find out more about the artist that created it, so I dig.
You'll be doing double takes, when you see Jamie Auld's portrayal of Madonna in this documentary by Guy Guido.
The documentary covers her struggles during her early years in New York City. The documentary focuses on her relationship with Dan Gilroy and how he introduces her to music. They form the band, the Breakfast Club, along with his brother Ed and one other member. Madonna becomes the drummer of the band and starts writing music.
To be the wife of the eldest son in a Korean family is a life sentence of domestic labor, above and beyond the wives of lesser ranked sons.
It’s not a role to be taken lightly.
The eldest son’s house is where all of the family events take place.
One of the responsibilities of the eldest son is to hold Jesa on the death anniversary for generations of elders.
This tradition of honoring the dead includes a huge feast, which the wife of the eldest son is expected to prepare.
As a child, I just remember feeling different for having these customs. What would people think if they found out? What did our neighbors think when we propped the door open to let the spirits in?
Jesa was also a huge burden for my mother to do all of the cooking. Other members of the family would often arrive when the preparation was complete.
It just seemed like an unnecessary chore.
But my father took Jesa very seriously.
He is the only son of the family and he fully embraces his eldest son responsibilities without hesitation.
Normally a very jovial father, he’d become solemn, as he’d peel the chestnuts and carve the boiled eggs.
Jesa was around a dozen times a year (including Charae- which has a different name because it is not during the death anniversaries but during the holidays).
Some months, there would be overlap and my mother would have to cook two feasts.
I have been a part of almost a hundred Jesa's in my lifetime.
And all the while, I thought we were sacrificing something of ourselves to honor the dead. Taking time out of our busy lives to remember them. An inconvenience. But in actuality, we were the beneficiaries of the tradition.
The wisdom of our ancestors, that created the tradition, only dawned on me recently.
If left to our own devices, how many of us would come together as a family to share a meal? Or remember ancestors that have passed?
Jesa, is for the living. For the living to remember to live and appreciate family.
All those Jesa memories of food and family- they have become a part of me.
revisiting some of the posts gone by
friday, september 8, 2017 - fung shing, montreal, quebec, canada
the restaurant owner goes out for a smoke
the air is cool and crisp
but in summer
he is relaxed and reflective
it is the hour before the dinner rush
he has been doing this,
as long as the 80's chairs have been here
the windows are foggy
the seal broken
the venetian blinds,
outline the frame of my vision
the gates of chinatown
the waiter checks his phone before going to the table to take their order
it's his girlfriend
she'd like to go to the movies tonight
the customer looks behind her back,
to see where her tea is
she says- a romantic comedy
he can do that
he will watch it for her,
7 more hours until he gets off
he really like this one
she is different from the others
she likes her men manly
last of the macho-loving women left in this world